recoveryposition | hello

I love this shot. From ‘The Complete Book of Dodge & Plymouth Muscle’

Please, remember me
Happily
By the rosebush laughing
With bruises on my chin
The time when
We counted every black car passing
Your house beneath the hill
And up until
Someone caught us in the kitchen
With maps, a mountain range,
A piggy bank
A vision too removed to mention
But

Please, remember me
Fondly
I heard from someone you’re still pretty
And then
They went on to say
That the pearly gates
Had some eloquent graffiti
Like ‘We’ll meet again’
And ‘Fuck the man’
And ‘Tell my mother not to worry’
And angels with their gray
Handshakes
Were always done in such a hurry
And

Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s a couple of genuine email conversations I’ve had in trying to sell my Macbook, the temptation was too much for me so I had to respond to these people, whom I would normally ignore.

Conversation # 1
Rose: MY OFFER IS $200 DOLLARS
Me: Your offer is rejected.
Rose: WHY BARRY?
Rose: DONT BE LIKE THAT JUST TELL ME YOUR COUNTER OFFER?
Me: Unless you are willing to pay $775 for the item, please do not email me again.
Rose: WHATS THIS NO BARGAINING GOODBYE THEN
Rose: MY OFFER STANDS AT $275

Conversation # 2
Mikel: I saw your item and am interested, am offering you $775 as requested. Kindly get back to me so that i can arrange my payment.
Me: Local collection in Kitsilano and Cash only. Let me know if you are still interested.
Mikel: Hy, am not in toronto now and i prefer meeting you for cash payment because am in Yemen on a visit to my uncle that lost his wife in the last plane crash. What can i do for the payment because i want the item be shipped to the below address. (Address provided in Nigeria). Meanwhile, i have paypal online payment which i think is faster and reliable. If you have paypal account, send me your full name, paypal email address, item cost, item number and cost of shipping to reach the postal address through canada postal services. Hope to read from you. Mikel.
Me: Mikel, OK, please put the full amount of $775 CAD in into a clear ziplock bag and send it to me in Toronto by Airmail. After I have received the money I will leave the Macbook in a nearby Starbucks where you can collect it at your leisure (I know one of the servers there – it’ll be OK). Thanks Barry.

Conversation # 3
Dr Martins: hi, thanks for getting back to me [this was his first email]. I am a medical doctor residing in richmond, i just got a call from my nephew at west africa that his birthday is coming up in two weeks and i need to buy a gift for him, pls i need your paypal email and your full name so that i will send the money to you through paypal. i would love to pick up local but i left for texas few days ago. i will pay extra $200 for the shipping and handling. pls get back to me asap. you will be shipping to west africa via canada post priority air mail. regards, dr martins.
Me: Hi Dr Martins, Wow, you left a few days ago and you’re still on the way to Texas? From Richmond? Are you driving down? A road-trip? I love road-trips, my wife and I went on a road-trip in California, it was beautiful – we hired a convertible.

13″ MacBook Pro, mmmmmm, you will be mine. Update: You are mine – I think my new Macbook Pro might be the best portable Mac ever.